


Shades of red

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bullying, Child Abuse, Drama & Romance, Explicit Language, F/F, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, One-Sided Attraction, Physical Abuse, Quinn Fabray & Santana Lopez Friendship, Rachel Berry & Santana Lopez Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-08 08:53:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15239826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Finn Hudson does not only tell everyone at McKinley High School that Santana Lopez is gay when he decides he has had enough of her shit, but also he forces Quinn Fabray out of the closet when he discovers that she is homosexual too and that his ex-girlfriend, Rachel Berry, broke up with him to be with Quinn.ORAlternate Universe in which Quinn Fabray is a lesbian girl that has to deal with forced heterosexuality, Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman are complete jerks and Russell Fabray never divorces Judy Fabray. Sue Sylvester is still Sue Sylvester and Santana goes all Lima Heights if someone hurts Brittany S. Pierce.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to remark the fact that this is an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, and a CANON DIVERGENCE as well, so it will obviously have OOC situations and stuff like that. This is situated at the end of S2, but some events of S3 happen here like the Finchel proposal. Apart from that, I hope you can forgive me if this turns out to be bad and enjoy it somehow. 
> 
> This is like a complete re-do of 'Like poison running through my veins' because I didn't like how I wrote it and then this idea came to my mind and this is the result!

_Rachel._

 

I always thought that I was bound to be a great actress no matter the situation I would end up being in, but I was proven wrong when my façade shattered into a million pieces, each of them breaking even more when they collided with the floor. Tears flooded my eyes before breaking free like a great waterfall that couldn’t be stopped by any means, ruining the small amount of makeup that I chose to wear for that date, but I didn’t care at all because the only I could feel was Quinn’s gentle touch as she tried to wipe the tears away.

“Rach, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?” She asked, concern dripping from her voice and a subtle ounce of self-consciousness decorating her last words. I shook my head, because she hadn’t done anything wrong. It was me. It was me because I wanted something else apart from her friendship. I wanted something that would go beyond that. I yearned for her love even if I already knew that I wasn’t the one destined to have it.

“It’s just that I can’t take this anymore,” I managed to whisper, probably confusing Quinn even more. I noticed that my words had added even more drama to the already dramatic scenario we were in: Outside of the Fabray household at night after a friendly date to Breadsticks to discuss some Glee issues, everything being perfect until my soul finally broke into two because I was being a bad friend thanks to my selfishness. But I didn’t care. Nor did I happen to appreciate the drama, since it hurt so, so much.

“Rachel, talk to me. What can’t you take anymore?” She questioned, her voice low and soft. I couldn’t avoid looking at her lips. Her rosy lips. They looked so soft and kissable. I immediately snapped out of it and looked at Quinn’s worried hazel eyes. She was truly a beauty queen even when her features were filled with worry.

“Faking…” I muttered as if that sole word was going to explain everything. I knew she was about to ask another question when I saw how she raised an eyebrow while her lips were separating slightly, so I decided to elaborate my answer. “I’m tired of faking that I’m happy when I’m not,” I finally said, breaking eye contact as if I suddenly found the floor more fascinating than  _ Quinn Fabray _ herself.

Silence suddenly reigned the place, not a single sound could be heard which was actually pretty normal because it was 1AM, and I didn’t have the guts to break it, to keep on talking, to admit the truth I tried to run away from since I noticed that I was living in a tangled web of lies. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, gathering enough courage to look at Quinn once more. She was looking at me with such a soft expression that I almost felt naked as she tried to decipher the mess that was going on inside my mind.

I recalled every moment that made me be there, outside her house at 1AM, under such a romantic sky filled with stars yet surrounded by an overwhelming dramatic atmosphere. I thought about the first time I saw her during freshman year and how her beauty had been able to take my breath away in a matter of mere seconds. About the first time I saw her smile and heard her laugh when she was talking with Santana and Brittany. About the first time she called me names, slushied me, made fun of me, yet I couldn’t hate her because there was always something inside me that would just be bewildered because I never understood why she would make the effort to torment a nobody like me. About the first time I saw her and Finn sharing a kiss and how it broke my heart somehow yet I chose to think that it was because that meant that I wouldn’t have a chance with the most popular boy of the whole school. About how her negative comments in MySpace were the ones that pushed me to be better. About the fear beneath her eyes in sophomore year when she told me that I would never have Finn and the pain that she tried to hide when she got pregnant. About how she seemed to be grateful when I supported her once Beth’s real father was revealed. About how she told me that she told Finn what I asked her to say and how he shot her down. About how much it hurt when Sam was after her and she somehow ended up with Finn once more even if it didn’t last that much. About how I discovered that it was her who I wanted to kiss, hug, wake up with, cuddle with; when I realized I may had loved Finn but it was Quinn who I was  _ in love  _ with.

“I understand it… I understand  _ you _ ,” She whispered softly, as if I was made of crystal and she was afraid of breaking me. “I realized some months ago that I was faking happiness, confidence and graceness, and that hurt like hell because I had none of those up until a couple of months ago... But you were  **always** there no matter what, more supportive than everyone else, so now it’s my turn to be a good friend and comfort you. So tell me… What’s going on?” I thought that I didn’t have any more tears left to cry, but when Quinn hugged me I was proven wrong once more. It was the second hug that she had given me, and I felt more protected there, in her arms, than when Finn held me close to him or kissed me or just told me pretty things with his goofy smile.

“Finn asked me to marry him…” I muttered, remembering the smile filled with hope that appeared on his lips when he proposed. I remembered how much it hurt to think that sooner or later I would have to crush Finn’s hopes. I remembered is pained look when I told him that I needed some time to think about it. 

“Did you accept?” She asked dryly, the friendliness and worry disappearing away for a couple of seconds. It was then that I noticed that she was tense, and it brought me some memories back. It was like when we were in the auditorium and she was telling me that I wouldn’t be happy with Finn, but this time without being in an argument. 

“No… I said that I didn’t know and that I would like to have some time before I gave him a proper answer,” It was funny because Quinn seemed to relax whereas I was on the edge of freaking out completely. I almost whined when she separated, but I didn’t because she remained very close to me even if we weren’t hugging anymore.

“Well, I am glad you are thinking about it… You are too young, Rachel. Besides, I don’t think you should marry him because I know that it is,  **he** is, going to ruin your life, and I don’t mean it in a bad or cruel way,” She whispered and I immediately knew that she was right in a way or another, even if I was reluctant to admit it. I shook my head and inhaled, trying to gather the guts that I needed to tell her the truth that lied beneath my actions.

“Quinn… You may be right, but that’s not why I told him that I needed time,” I said in a mere whisper which I thought she hadn’t heard until I saw her expression change from concerned to curious and confused.

“Then why?” She asked, her tone giving away how surprised she actually was. Not that I couldn’t blame her for being surprised, Finn and I were like a dream couple, or at least we looked like one, after all,. It was ‘now or never’ for me. That was the perfect moment to admit my feelings, and if she rejected me I could just run away and act as if nothing had ever happened for the few months of high school that we had left before senior year.

“Because he is not the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. He is no longer the one that owns my heart, and I doubt he has ever actually owned it, because my heart beats for other person. Finn deserves someone who can truly love him, someone who’s actually  _ in  _ love with him, and I cannot be that person since I already am in love with someone else,” Quinn’s eyes were teary, her lips slightly parted, and she was slowly separating from me. I took some steps backwards and embraced myself. 

A breeze of cool air collided with us, moving Quinn’s hair in such an artistic and romantic way that it deserved to be photographed and immortalized. I was conscious that I was a big diva, but I wouldn’t be able to create such a dramatic situation even if I tried repeatedly. I wondered if that’s the aesthetic that Quinn and I had. A never ending drama that somehow held such passion and romanticism beneath it that was breathtaking. 

“This person… I never expected to fall for this person, it just happened. I always thought that Finn would be my one and only, my soulmate, the one that I would love to infinity no matter what happened,” I closed my eyes, lowering my head as I thought about the perfect way to continue my speech. “But at the same time my relationship began to bloom, I began to feel attracted to this person. Or that’s what I first thought before realizing that I was head over heels for them since I first met them and they took my breath away without even noticing what they had done,” Despite the situation, I smiled. I smiled because I was finally telling someone the truth, and that this someone was  _ the person  _ made me want to smile more even if there was a chance to end up pitifully rejected.

“Why are you telling me this?” She asked in a hushed whisper, her voice almost cracking. Based on that, I assumed that she maybe liked me back, that my feelings weren’t unrequited, but I couldn’t get my hopes up, not when the most important part was still unsaid. 

“Because it’s you,” I said, taking a step closer with a confidence that I surely didn’t have seconds before. “This person is no one else but you, Quinn Fabray. I… I know that this may sound a bit crazy, well a lot actually, but I was mesmerized when I first saw you. And I’m sure that I’ve already told you this, but you are not only the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, but you are funny, smart, strong and interesting as well. I’m supposed to hate you after all the bullying that I’ve suffered from you but I just can’t because I’m way too busy being head over heels for you. I want to be there whenever you need someone to comfort you just like I did last year, I want to be the shoulder you cry on, the one that will be there for you no matter what,” My voice was about to falter when I finished talking, and it made me wonder if I would be able to take the last step left.

“Rach—” Quinn’s voice did falter, cracked in fact, and seconds afterwards there were tears running down her rosy cheeks. She was silently crying once more, like she was in sophomore year when Finn discovered that he wasn’t Beth’s father. I felt the urge to just hug her but I didn’t know if the action would be welcomed, so I remained close to her yet away at the same time.

“Wait, please… I would like to sing you something first, if you let me.” I said with the best grin I could smile. When she nodded, I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply once or twice.

  
  


_ You're on the phone with your boyfriend _

_ He's upset _

_ He's going off about something that you said _

_ 'Cause he doesn't get your humor like I do _

_ I'm in my room _

_ It's a typical Tuesday night _

_ I'm listening to the kind of music he doesn't like _

_ And he'll never know your story like I do _

 

_ But you wear short skirts _

_ I wear T-shirts _

_ You’re cheer captain _

_ And I'm on the bleachers _

_ Dreaming about the day when you wake up _

_ And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time _

 

_ If you can see I'm the one who understands you _

_ Been here all along so why can't you see _

_ You belong with me _

_ You belong with me _

 

_ Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans _

_ I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be _

_ Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself _

_ Hey isn't this easy _

 

_ And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town _

_ I haven't seen it in a while since he brought you down _

_ You say you're fine _

_ I know you better than that _

_ Hey what you doing with a boy like that? _

 

_ You wear high heels _

_ I wear sneakers _

_ You’re cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers _

_ Dreaming about the day when you wake up _

_ And find that what what you're looking for has been here the whole time _

 

_ If you can see that I'm the one who understands you _

_ Been here all along so why can't you see _

_ You belong with me _ __  
  


_ Standing by and waiting at your back door _

_ All this time how could you not know _

_ Baby, you belong with me _

_ You belong with me _

 

_ Oh, I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night _

_ I'm the one who makes you laugh _

_ When you know you're about to cry _

_ And I know your favorite songs _

_ And you tell me about your dreams _

_ I think I know where you belong _

_ I think I know it's with me _

 

_ Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you _

_ Been here all along so why can't you see _

_ You belong with me _

 

_ Standing by and waiting at your back door _

_ All this time _

_ How could you not know _

_ Baby you belong with me _

_ You belong with me _

 

_ You belong with me _

_ Have you ever thought just maybe _

_ You belong with me _

_ You belong with me _

 

When I stopped singing I sighed in pure relief because I hadn’t stuttered or faltered throughout the song. Quinn, however, remained completely silent and I thought that it was because she was thinking about  the perfect way to reject me. It would make sense, after all I had basically thrown a lot of shade on Finn and Puck and even Sam on the song and claimed that she would be better with me when I didn’t even know if she still loved any of them or if she could reciprocate my feelings. I looked at her in the eyes, and I felt fear because her expression was completely blank.

I saw how she raised her left hand and I instantly closed my eyes out of habit, waiting for a slap that never happened. Instead of a slap, I felt Quinn’s soft touch on my right cheek and in a matter of seconds I felt her other hand on my left cheek. Before I could open my eyes again, I felt her lips on mine. I wasn’t wrong that time. Her lips were indeed as soft as they seemed to be. I forgot how to breathe for some seconds, but then I regained my composure and kissed her back as tenderly as she was kissing me, my hands finding their way to her waist. I could feel the famous butterflies that everyone talked about in my stomach and how the world seemed to stop as if nothing but us mattered anymore. The drama had created a perfect romantic scenario, and the romantic scenario had led to an outstanding first kiss with the girl of my dreams.

When we separated from each other, the first thing I looked at were those rosy lips. So beautiful, so soft and so marvellous. Then I noticed the furious blush that was covering her usually pale cheeks, and I smiled because that shade of red looked extremely well on her, and then she matched my smile with one of hers that could light up a dark and mournful place. I looked at her eyes, her gorgeous hazel eyes, which were more alive than ever before since freshman year ended. 

“I find fascinating how you changed some parts of the song so it would be perfect for this situation,” She whispered, creating an intimate atmosphere between the two of us. Some tears fell from her eyes, and I wiped them with my thumbs just as carefully as she had done it with me minutes ago. “And I find fascinating the fact that you claim to have fallen in love with me when I was such a… Bad person to you whenever I could,” I smiled when she stopped talking because I knew that she was fighting the need of saying ‘bitch’. “I want to tell you a little secret,” She proceeded, pressing softly her forehead against mine.

“What is it?” I asked in a tone that matched hers. 

“It may sound like a cliché… It  _ is  _ going to sound like a cliché, but I acted like that because I was scared. The first time I saw you, you were answering one question in History class and I was shocked. Not only were, and are, beautiful but you were, and still are and oh how I love it, determined. You always put so much effort and determination behind everything you do, no matter if it’s a small or big thing, that I ended up feeling attracted by you in a matter of weeks.” Her voice was filled with adoration and love, and I felt flattered not only because of what she was saying, but also because it was the first time I saw Quinn Fabray speaking like that. “But as you may know… My father had, and has, a bad influence in our house. Since I was a little kid, I grew up listening to him saying how homosexual people were just a mistake made by God, a disgrace… And when he learned about you and your two fathers… Oh Heavens forgive me for speaking ill of him, but he became insufferable and I didn’t want to let him down… But I ended up falling for you,” She let out a chuckle and walked slightly away. “I’m sorry for all the bad things I made you go through, you didn’t even deserve them...” Quinn said with her head hanging low, and I shook my head.

“It totally  _ is  _ a cliché, but at least not as much as the “head cheerleader and the team quarterback” thing, don’t you think?” She laughed softly and oh how angelic said sound was. When she nodded, I resumed my speech. “I forgave you a long, long time ago. And I’m happy that these feelings are reciprocated because you’ve just made me the happiest girl ever,” Our smiles were reflections of the other, and it was then that I noticed how she was slowly walking towards me once more.

“Rachel Barbra Berry… Do you want to be my girlfriend?” She asked with a voice so sweet that I could have melted right then. I held her hand and gave it a little squeeze. 

“I… Still have to break up with Finn,” I said, and she looked at me with a sad expression, which made me smile and laugh. “But I cannot be another second without being yours.” I said, holding her left cheek with my free and and pulling her closer as gently as I could, kissing her once more.

“Thank you… For giving me this chance,” She muttered inches away from my lips, and I smiled, brushing her lips when I grinned, what made her laugh a bit.

“Thank **you** for loving **me** back… But we should keep this as a secret, at least for now,” I murmured, not wanting to break the spell we were under.  

“Yeah… But keep in mind one thing. I’m not ashamed of you, okay?” I nodded and kissed her once more, a kiss that was considerably shorter than the others but as tender and passionate as them. “I have to go home now… I don’t want to be in trouble for arriving late even if it already is... “ She looked at her clock and nodded as she grimaced a bit. “1:32AM” 

“I agree with you, you should get in and I should get to my house as soon as possible if I want to be alive tomorrow… I have a strict schedule that I have to follow no matter what,” I said jokingly even if my words were completely true. “Besides, I don’t want to get you into trouble because of me,” I said softly, a shy smile appearing on my lips. Quinn chuckled and shook her head with a small grin.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Holy Grail,” She said with a playful wink as she walked away, leaving me behind with a goofy smile. My cheeks burned thanks to the ‘holy grail’ nickname, and I finally felt happy after entire months of faking it.

I finally felt like a winner for the first time in a long time.


	2. I

_ Quinn _ _. _

 

_ “You want to… What?” When I heard Finn’s voice on the other side of the choir room, I stopped dead on my tracks as I frowned. Rachel had texted me saying that she was in the choir room alone and waiting for me, so why was Finn in there? I really didn’t understand. I left my sports bag , which contained some casual clothes ruined by cherry slushie, on the floor and reached for my phone, that was inside one of the pockets of my trousers. _

_ “You heard me, Finn… I want to break up with you. I just don’t think that we belong together in a romantic way,” Realization hit me as hard as a truck when I heard Rachel’s voice. The most likely thing that had happened was that while she was waiting for me, Finn had searched for her to get an answer for his proposal. I inhaled softly and shook my head. Eavesdropping was bad but curiosity got the best of me, so I knelt down and placed my head closer to the door, hoping that none of them would get out or that someone would find me spying on someone else’s conversation. _

_ “But why? Everything was fine until now, I don’t understand why you want to break up all of a sudden,” He said, and I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn’t know why, he was the most oblivious being ever. And not because he thought he could have gotten me pregnant without actually doing the deed and in a hot tub… Well, who was I kidding? That was one of the main reasons why.  _

_ “I just… I realized that I’m not in love with you, that there’s another person out there that has made me fall head over heels for them and I don’t want to be with them while I’m with you because I’m not a cheater or a liar. That’s why I cannot marry you. I’m so sorry Finn, but I can’t… We can stay as very good friends though, right?” Rachel asked with a hopeful voice. I shook my head slightly after the initial shock of hearing her speaking so fast, and after processing all of her words, my heart began to beat wildly and like crazy.  _

_ She had told him the truth right away, not mentioning me of course because that would be a big mistake since Finn was still holding a grudge for what had happened in Sophomore year, but she had been earnest nonetheless. What had I even done to deserve her?  _

_ Finn inhaled deeply and sighed. “Okay,” He said, and I was surprised because I hadn’t expect it to be that easy. “But keep in mind one thing… We’re endgame, Rachel. We’re meant to be. I cannot be with anyone else and you cannot be with someone that isn’t me, and it’s a fact. I couldn’t be with Quinn, Santana or Brittany and you couldn’t be with Jesse and Puck… We’re meant for each other and sooner or later you’ll realize that. I’ll be waiting for you,” Finn said with a soft voice that made me sick. How could he be so sure about his words?  _

_ “No, Finn… This is over. I want to be with the person that I’m in love with and that person is not you. I’m sorry but I won’t be crawling back to you in the long nor in the short run, so please, look for someone that deserves you and that isn’t me. I couldn’t be with Puck because that was a made out thing that didn’t have any future at all, and I wasn’t actually that attracted to Jesse, but this person is different, in a lot of ways. I know that they’re perfect for me and I’m willing to give everything it takes to be with them,” Rachel firmly said, and by that point, my mouth was already dry. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Sure, Rachel was annoying from time to time, but apart from that? I didn’t deserve her at all. _

_ “Whatever… I know that you will. And this guy you’re talking about? You’ll eventually find out that he won’t be able to fill you as much as I can,” He warned and I quickly got up, took my bag, walked away some steps and returned towards the door as casually as possible before Rachel screwed it up and revealed that it wasn’t a boy, but a girl, more specifically me, who she was talking about. _

_ I opened the door and they both turned around to look at me, and I grimaced in the most fake way I had ever grimaced. I touched the bag nervously and looked at them, who wore different expressions. Finn looked annoyed whereas Rachel looked relieved and was mouthing ‘Thanks’ from behind him. _

_ “Sorry, am I interrupting something?” I asked, looking at Finn then at Rachel. Rachel shook her head but Finn huffed. _

_ “Yes,” He said, his cheeks red from anger, while Rachel exclaimed, “No, I was about to leave anyway,” which made him look at her in confusion.  _

_ I nodded and ran a hand through my hair as I looked down to my feet, covered by dark brown long boots. It was weird for me to be wearing casual clothes at school, but I didn’t have any other choice. Quitting Cheerios meant to give away the Cheerios uniform, hence the power and recognition that it held, so I had to wear casual clothes. A dark blue silk shirt, dark blue trousers and dark brown long boots was the outfit I was wearing after my dress got stained by slushie thanks to some Freshman year Cheerios.  _

_ “Anyway, Quinn, I need to talk to you about your dancing positions in Regionals since you’ve swapped places with Santana,” I frowned because that was news for me, but before I could say something about it, I was being dragged by Rachel to the auditorium.  _

_ “Are you okay? I may have overheard your conversation for a while,” I said once we were in the safe and empty auditorium. _

_ “Yeah, I’ll be…” Rachel muttered before turning around and approaching me. “Now I can finally do this without cheating on someone,” She said bringing my head down with a gently push and kissing me tenderly.  _

* * *

  
  


I tilted my head from left to right, watching myself in the mirror and checking that everything was in perfect conditions. The make-up couldn’t be any better since it covered everything that had to remain hidden easily and without looking like I had applied tons of products, my hair couldn’t be tied up nor placed in a less beautiful and graceful way, my smile was enchanting as per usual even if it was fake, and my dress was outstanding. However, there was one thing that was wrong, one thing that I couldn’t control. My phone buzzed twice and I sighed, got up and reached for it.

When I unlocked it, I found out that I had three messages, one from Santana, one from Brittany and other from Rachel.

 

~~~

 

**→ Holy Grail:** I really wish I could go with you. :(

**→ Me:** Me too sweetie, but at least we will spend the night with each other ;)

**→ Holy Grail:** Lucy Quinn Fabray, did you just text me something with an important and worrisome double meaning? We’ve been dating for two weeks! 

**→ Me:** I know, I was just kidding dear. Also… It’s the first time in a long, long time that I’ve smiled after reading my name, my actual name. So yeah. Guess you have a positive effect on me…

**→ Holy Grail:** I’m glad I have that effect on you because you make me be better. :)

**→ Holy Grail:** Jesse’s here, I’ll see you later. xoxo

**→ Me:** See you later, love <3

 

**~~~**

* * *

 

_ I walked carefully around the bathroom, checking the stalls one by one to make sure that there wasn’t someone inside. It was 6:35PM, and only Cheerios and football players were around, and even if Sue didn’t allow anyone to go to the bathroom even if their lives depend on it, checking just in case was always a good thing to do. When I saw that it was empty, I rested my body against one of the cool walls, which ended up in my hissing in pain and brining a hand towards my lower back. I inhaled deeply and exhaled. I didn’t get to complain about bruises when I had caused more pain to lots of people. _

_ The door opened slowly and Rachel sneaked in just as carefully. “Hey,” She whispered once the door was closed. She approached me and hugged me tightly, and I almost had to bit my tongue to avoid groaning. “Is everything okay?” _

_ “Yes, why?” I asked as she separated ever so slightly just so she could look at my eyes. I smiled like a fool when our gazes met each other, and the only thing I could focus on was two deep and marvelous oceans of chocolate. _

_ “Because you told me to meet you in the bathrooms near History class at 6:30? Also, sorry for being late… Finn’s around because of football practice and I was trying to avoid him as much as I could so I walked slowly through the corridors in case he was around somewhere,” Rachel explained, and I smiled even wider before kissing her softly because I didn’t care if she was late. What mattered was that she was there. _

_ “Don’t worry, I arrived a minute ago or so. And I wanted to see you because I need to tell you something… Finn asked me to Prom, probably to make you jealous, and I accepted because he was the only choice I had left since we cannot go together for now,” I admitted softly, watching how she lowered her head and nodded sadly. _

_ “I actually… Wanted to tell you that I’ll go with Jesse. He was the only option I had left so, I just asked him,” Rachel said in a low voice, and I nodded as I looked away. “I want to go with you though, there’s nothing else that I currently want other than be together during Prom, dance with you, have a nice night with you and see you as you get crowned Prom Queen because that’s what you deserve,” Rachel stated with fond eyes and a sad smile on her face. _

_ “You’re so sweet and… God, c’mere,” And instead of trying to explain what I felt with words, I chose to show her my feelings through a slow, gently and tender kiss. Her were hands on my waist, even if it hurt a bit at first, and mine around her neck, creating a romantic kiss that said everything that needed to be told.  _

 

* * *

 

**~~~**

**_→_** **Snixx:** Are you really going to go with Finnessa?

**→ Me:** Are you really going with Karofsky?

**→ Snixx:** Touché.

**→ Snixx:** But you’re a bitch.

**→ Snixx:** I was just looking out for your ass and you treat me like that in exchange?

**→ Snixx:** Very bad, Fabray. You hurt my feelings.

**→ Me:** While I appreciate your worry, you don’t have to look out for me S. I’ll be fine. 

**→ Snixx:** I just don’t get why you’re going with your gf’s ex, duh.

→  **Me:** And I don’t get why you’re going with Kurt’s bully instead of your practically-girlfriend.

**→ Snixx:** Cut it out, will ya? Geez Q, you’re such a bitch today, is everything dandy with the dwarf?

**→ Me:** Yes, Santana, everything is fine with Rachel. And I’m just bitchy because I can’t go with Rachel to Prom because people are judgemental and rotten.

**→ Snixx:** Tsk, tell me about it. I still don’t know how Kurt is able to go with Blaine without shitting his pants.

**→ Me:** Because he’s brave and proud, things that we, unlike our Rachel and Brittany, are not.

**→ Snixx:** Preach girl. 

**→ Snixx:** Gotta go. Please keep your junk away from dicks tonight so we won’t have to go through the same as last year.

**→ Me:** I love you too, Santana. 

**~~~**

 

* * *

 

_ “The dwarf is your what?!” Santana asked with her eyes wide opened, her gaze filled with disbelief. It was understandable, I had spent a year and a couple of months trying to make her life as miserable as possible. I rolled my eyes and silently thanking God for the lack of people besides us in the parking lot of McKinley. _

_ “You heard me, Rachel is my girlfriend,” I repeated calmly, my eyebrows raised when her face morphed from surprise to distaste in a matter of seconds. _

_ “I know you have an awful taste for stuff, and with ‘stuff’ I mean for fashion and boyfriends, but seriously? Berry? Has she brainwashed you with argyle or what?” Santana asked, and I shook my head.  _

_ I cleared my throat and opened my mouth, but before I could speak she said something. “Hah, knew you played for our team,” Santana said with a smirk, the distaste long gone from her face. Why couldn’t I have normal and sane friends? _

_ “I beg your pardon?” I said as I tilted my head to the left.  _

_ “It means that you like girls. Seriously, what era are you from? Like, you didn’t know what sexting is, you don’t know the juicy and interesting idioms…” Santana explained with a shrug. “Anyway, why are you telling me this?” _

_ “Because I…” I swallowed before continuing because if I said the wrong thing we would get into another fight. “I know that you love Brittany, and I wanted you to know that you are not alone, okay?” For a second, I thought that Santana was going to faint because she went as pale as me and her eyes looked like they were going to fall from their place. _

_ “That is… That’s bull!” Santana said, and I shook my head, disappointed in her lack of a good response or comeback, but when Santana Lopez didn’t have a snarky comeback to spit it meant that you had touched the right buttons.  _

_ “Oh really? Then why do you shoot those nasty looks at Artie every time he’s near Brittany? Why did she look so sad and disappointed when you said you… Were going out with Karofsky? Why do you turn into a blushing and giggling mess when you two are together? Last time I checked, Santana Lopez doesn’t blush nor giggle,” She went silent, completely silent.  _

_ “San…” I tried to touch her shoulder, but she shook her body and looked at me with such intensity that I felt minute in her presence. _

_ “What do you want, Fabray? Do you want me to congratulate you for figuring shit out? Okay, congrats…” Santana said as she leaned in with a pained smirk, and I sighed. She had entered a defensive-offensive mode. _

_ “That’s not it. I want to help you. I’m here to help, and I understand you. I understand the jealousy that you feel when Brittany is with Artie because I’ve felt it too… Santana, you’re not alone. Okay, we clearly haven’t been the best of friends during our friendship, but that can change,” I stated, approaching her slowly. Her gaze was soft, but I still wasn’t safe from danger. I knew it, and I knew her, it wasn’t going to be that easy. _

_ “Oh please, at the beginning of the year you told Sue about my boob job to get your ass back on the top of the pyramid… Don’t be such a hypocrite,” And the big guns were out. _

_ “Listen, I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have done that, I know, and I am sorry. I wanted power, recognition, to be praised and feared once again and that fogged my reasoning. I’m willing to make that up and to be a friend, a real one,” I bit my lower lip when I finished talking, because I was running out of things to say. She lowered her head and remained silent for a couple of minutes. _

_ “I told her I love her, and she chose to remain with him,” Santana eventually said, and I exhaled softly. _

_ “Yeah, but he also called her stupid and spoke ill of you… I give them two more days,” I said with a shrug. It was true though. Brittany had come to me after Artie insulted her and told me what happened, and it was weird that they hadn’t broken up yet. _

_ “What if I’m not good enough for her?” I came closer and placed a hand on her shoulder, and that time she didn’t shake me away, which meant that I was going through the right way. _

_ “Brittany is in love with you. She is, Santana. People don’t give her much credit, but I assure you that if she’s in love with you, it’s for a very good reason. You two are fitting pieces of a puzzle, you just have to find your way until you’re together,” Santana nodded, and I smiled a bit. _

_ “You may be right… But what about my family? They’ll see me as a disappointment, they’ll hate me,” I grimaced and looked away, because that was certainly a field I didn’t want to get into. _

_ “Maybe, or maybe not. You’ll never know, but you’ll have Brittany nonetheless. Besides, you can always wait until you’re graduated and about to get out of Lima to go to college to tell your family. You’ll be 18 and away, you’ll be free, and they’ll have time to accept it on their own.”  _

_ “Since when do we speak about our problems or personal lives?” She rhetorically asked, a dry laugh decorating the irony of the situation. _ _   
_

_ “Since now until our last breath,” I stated firmly, with probably more courage than needed. _

_ “Friends?” Santana asked, her gaze fixed on the floor. _

_ “Friends,” I nodded and opened my arms, and after a second of hesitance, she was hugging me as if her life depended on it. _

_ “I’ll chop off your fingers if you tell someone about this,” She warned, and I laughed. _

_ “Sure you will.” _

* * *

 

 

**_~~~_ **

 

_ →  _ **Britt:** Kurt and Blaine will sing first, then us three, and then the slow dance

→  **Me:** How do you know about that?

→ **Britt:** It’s written in a big cardboard that’s outside the gym

→  **Britt:** I still can’t believe you’re going w/ Finn

→ **Britt:** And that San will go with Dave n not with me :(

→ **Me:** Yeah, but she’ll spend the night with you though.

→  **Britt:** Weren’t you supposed to stay at my house?

→ **Me:** No, that’s a white lie that I told my parents. I’ll be at Rachel’s and Santana will be with you tonight.

→ **Britt:** Oh true! I had forgotten ‘bout it

→ **Britt:** Are you sure you two don’t wanna come over though? We can have fun

→  **Me:** Uhh… No, thanks. I bet that Santana would prefer to have you all for her own now that you’ve made up. And I think that Rachel wants the same but with me.

→  **Britt:** I thought that we could all have fun playing Twister though :(

→  **Me:** You say that because you’d win. ;)

→ **Britt:** Dam right!

→  **Britt:** Also, thanks, for listening to me and then talking to San… 

→  **Britt:** I don’t know what we would have done without you.

→  **Britt:** I have to go! Coach wants me to help her with the punch. Wonder who’ll spike it 2night. C ya, Q! 

**~~~**

 

* * *

_ The door of the auditorium swung open, hit the wall and closed itself again in no more than 3 seconds, and by the time I looked away from the book I was reading, Brittany was already on the middle of the stairs and going down the rest as quickly as possible. I marked the page, left the book on the floor and got up.  _

_ “What happened?” I asked when she was centimeters apart from me. She had texted me all of a sudden when I was about to go home, and told me to wait for her in the auditorium, so I assumed that nothing good could have occured. _

_ “It’s Artie…” Brittany said with a shaky voice and a teary expression before hugging me tightly. I hugged her too, though confused.  _

_ “Mind to explain?” I asked after a while, trying to separate a bit from her. Fortunately for me, she stepped away slightly and I was free from her embrace. I took her hand and pulled her down softly, so that she would sit down on the floor with me. _

_ “He was saying bad stuff about Santana, saying that she was manipulating me and stuff and he called me stupid. He was the only one except from you and S that hadn’t called me stupid, and it hurts because I know that he thinks that that is what I am just like everyone else,” Brittany explained, tears rolling down her cheeks. I pouted and wiped away a couple of them with my thumbs. _

_ “But you’re not, you’re very intuitive and clever. We all are bad with some school subjects, and that’s because we do not like them or find them boring. That doesn’t make you stupid,” I tried to comfort her, even though I didn’t know how since it was usually Santana the one that comforted Brittany. _

_ “I know, but everyone just… Thinks that I am stupid and easy, and that’s not true. But everyone thinks that way, and it hurts that Artie thinks like that too because I like him,” I raised my eyebrows, and rubbed her back softly through the shirt she was wearing. _

_ “Not everyone thinks that way, you know? I don’t think like tha _ — _ ” _

_ “Because you’re my best friend!” Brittany exclaimed as she sobbed a bit. It wasn’t nice to see the normally cheerful and outstanding dancer Brittany S. Pierce like that. _

_ “As I was saying, I don’t think about you like that, because what I think about you is that you’re a very sensitive person in a good way. You’re nice, friendly, cheerful, an amazing dancer and so funny, you know?” Brittany shrugged and I sighed. “And then there’s Santana. She loves you, Britt. I can see it in the way she looks at you with that fondness that she rarely shows, and the way she looks at Artie as if she wanted to break his arms or something,” And with that, Brittany chuckled a bit. _

_ “Then why doesn’t she want to be with me if she loves me? I love her too. I think I’m in love with her, Q. But I don’t know why she doesn’t want to be with me… Is it because I’m too stupid to understand even if the reason is very obvious?” Brittany asked as she looked at me with teary eyes and a defeated expression. _

_ “I’m sure it’s not because of that. Listen… I bet that Santana does want to be with you, but she’s just afraid of what will happen next. I know because that happened to me with Rachel,” I said with a shrug. _

_ “Why would it happen that to you with her?” Brittany asked as she tilted her head to the side, a cascade of blonde hair falling over her shoulder. _

_ “Because I love her, though she was with Finn. I didn’t want to admit my feelings because I was too afraid of what would happen next, Britt, until it happened. Now I’m happy and so is she. You just have to have a heart to heart conversation with Santana and I’m sure that you two will figure things out… Just… Avoid doing it in front of your or her house, do it in an empty place,” I said as my cheeks went red. Knowing those two, they’d make out if the conversation went well and nobody wants to make out in a place where they could be seen.  _

_ ‘Well… Coming from them I wouldn’t be surprised though,’ I thought as I smiled awkwardly. _

_ “I knew that hearts could talk, I knew it,” Brittany whispered as she shook her fist as if she was celebrating something. “Thanks Q, I’ll keep that in mind,” She said, and I nodded. _

_ “If you want, I can talk with her first to warm her up and get her ready for your conversation,” I offered, knowing that Santana would need a little push when it came to feelings. Apart from that, I wanted to speak with her and let her know that even though I had been a shitty friend up until then, I’d always have her back in case she’d need me. _

_ “That’d be great!” Brittany said as she beamed, and I smiled. “Wait… Does that mean that now Rachel goes down on you?” _

 

* * *

  
  


“Quinnie, your date’s here!” My mother said from downstairs. I winced at the nickname and I locked eyes with my reflection as I wondered how she could be so hypocrite and false. I shook my head, took my bag with very casual clothes inside and threw in my phone, and got out of my room. 

I grabbed the end of my dress as I went downstairs carefully and slowly so I wouldn’t trip and fall. It was just like how the old movies portrayed it, except that the one awaiting for me at the end of the stairs wasn’t the love of my life.

“Wow, you look… Beautiful,” Finn breathed out when I arrived, and I smiled. I knew he meant it, he had told me so plenty of times when we were together, and by the look on his face I could see that he wasn’t saying it to be polite. Even if he still was holding a grudge, the truth could overpower him. 

“Aw sweetie, you look so beautiful. Isn’t that right, Russel?” Mother asked with excitement impregnated in her voice, a big smile on her face. Father, no longer was he Daddy for me, placed a hand on Mother’s left shoulder and nodded.

“Indeed, she truly is Daddy’s little princess,” He said, his eyes teary and a shaky smile on his face. I looked at Finn because I couldn’t take their hypocrisy anymore. First they were outraged when they find out about Rachel and now they were impressed about my looks even if they had been stained by them. I clenched my jaw and close my eyes.

“I’m going to go for the camera, wait a second,” Mother announced before disappearing through the house. Father took the opportunity to come closer and raise a warning finger at Finn.

“Do not think, boy, that last year’s events are forgotten…” He said, and Finn swallowed. Yeah, that hadn’t been one of his most graceful moments. “But as long as you don’t take advantage of her and nobody else does,” His last words were decorated with venom, a venom that made me want to whimper because I knew too much and too well for my own good, “Everything should be fine.”

“You don’t have to worry about that… I told you I’ll only dance with him and that I will have dinner and spend the night at the Pierce’s,” I said in a low voice, not daring to raise it too much because I knew were my limits were. Father hummed, and I felt his eyes boring my left temple. 

After Mother took all the photos she wanted, about five or six, we finally left home in complete silence. 

 

**~~~**

 

“Quinn!” Before I could try to see where the voice was coming from, I was trapped in a tight hug that left me without air. 

‘Make-up covers flaws, but it doesn’t heal them,’ I thought bittersweetly as I tried to spin around and face Brittany, and return her hug. 

“Are you having a good time?” Brittany asked with an immense grin decorating her features, and before replying to her, I saw Santana behind her, arms crossed yet a smirk on her face. She nodded at me and I smiled.

“Yeah, what about you two?” I asked, or screamed, as I came closer to them. I hadn’t seen Rachel or Finn since the time I had gotten in, and the other Gleeks where nowhere to be seen, so I was glad to see two familiar places.

“Yup!” Brittany said while Santana said “Of course, Puck spiked the punch after all.” 

“Where’s Berry?” Santana asked as Kurt and Blaine got on stage to sing a song which I recognized as Firework, from Katy Perry. 

 

_ (Blaine) _

_ Do you ever feel like a plastic bag _

_ Drifting thought the wind _

_ Wanting to start again _

 

_ (Kurt) _

_ Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin _

_ Like a house of cards _

_ One blow from caving in _

 

_ (Blaine) _

_ Do you ever feel already buried deep _

_ Six feet under scream _

_ But no one seems to hear a thing _

 

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen her yet… And I lost Finn when we got in,” I exclaimed, moving along the song a bit.

 

_ (Kurt) _

_ Do you ever feel already buried deep _

_ Six feet under scream _

_ But no one seems to hear a thing _

 

_ Do you know that there's still a chance for you _

_ 'Cause there's a spark in you _

 

“That’s what happens when you date a hobbit, Q,” Santana screamed, a playful smirk on her lips.

“Oh, but you’re short too… You’re shorter than me,” Brittany said as she looked at Santana and up and down.

 

_ (Blaine) _

_ You just gotta ignite the light _

_ And let it shine _

_ Just own the night _

_ Like the Fourth of July _

 

_ (Kurt and Blaine) _

_ 'Cause baby you're a firework _

_ Come on show 'em what your worth _

_ Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" _

_ As you shoot across the sky-y-y _

 

“She got you there, San,” I said as I raised my eyebrows, and Brittany beamed even though Santana frowned, which was more of a pout than anything else.

“I hate you,” Santana said, and I rolled my eyes.

“Sure you do,” I replied, winking at her when Brittany intertwined hands with her. 

 

_ (Kurt and Blaine) _

_ Baby you're a firework _

_ Come on let your colors burst _

_ Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" _

_ You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down down down _

 

_ (Kurt) _

_ You don't have to feel like a waste of space _

_ You're original, cannot be replaced _

_ If you only knew what the future holds _

_ After a hurricane comes a rai _ _ nbow _

 

“Hey, is that Finn?” Santana exclaimed, pointing at a big figure that was in the middle of the dance floor. I couldn’t see it very well, so I just shrugged.

“I’m going to check if it is him,” Brittany said and before we could stop her, she was already running towards the pointed place.

 

_ (Kurt) _

_ Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed _

_ So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road _

_ Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow _

_ And when it's time, you'll know _

 

_ (Blaine) _

_ You just gotta ignite the light _

_ And let it shine _

_ Just own the night _

_ Like the Fourth of July _

 

After a while, she came back with a worried expression. “It is, and it looked like he was trying to force Rachel to dance with him,” Brittany said, and Santana and I exchanged looks before nodding and going towards the big oaf of ex-boyfriend that Rachel and I had. Where was St Jaimes anyway?

 

_ (Kurt and Blaine) _

_ 'Cause baby you're a firework _

_ Come on show 'em what your worth _

_ Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" _

_ As you shoot across— _

 

The song stopped abruptly and seconds afterwards cheers roared through the place. We came closer and saw that Finn was on the floor, fighting against Jesse, a bewildered Rachel being hugged by a wide eyed Mercedes as they watched the scene.

I bit my lip, thinking about scenarios that could have triggered that particular event, and then I realized what could have happened. Brittany said that Finn was trying to force Rachel to force with him, so it would have made sense that Rachel was dancing or singing with Jesse in the first place.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?” And with that, everything and everyone went silent. Sue came through the people who were parting for her just like the Red Sea, her megaphone in hand and her characteristic frown in place. 

Finn and Jesse got up as quickly as possible, but the damage was already done. 

“Get your sorry asses out of here,” Sue ordered, and with a last look at Rachel, Finn’s was firm whilst Jesse’s was apologizing, they went away and the celebration went on after a few seconds. Sue may had not been able to find out who ahd spiked the punch, but she at least could stop fights.

 

~~~

 

My grip on the sink tightened and I bit my lower lip with more strength than needed. I wasn’t expecting the coronation’s outcome. None of us were. Even after Finn’s troglodyte actions, I was expecting to have a chance at getting chosen as the Prom Queen, but no. I just couldn't have that. 

“So… Kurt got crowned as Queen,” Rachel said as she slipped inside the bathroom and closed the door softly.

“Karofsky was chosen as the King,” I continued, the outcome playing on my mind again for the umpteeth time.

“Kurt ran away after getting mentioned with Blaine following him,” Rachel said as she came closer, her eyes never leaving me.

“Santana ran away too but with Brittany hot on her tracks,” I said with a little grimace. She was actually hoping that she’d win. And it must have sucked that they had chosen Karofsky as a King and not her as the Queen.

“And you hid yourself inside the bathroom… Baby, what’s the matter?” Rachel asked as she hugged me gently by the side.

“I just… Wanted this so much. After all that happened last year, I thought that winning this would be some sort of redemption for me but I guess that I was mistaken,” I mumbled, refusing to meet her eyes.

“Quinn, you don’t need a Prom Queen crown to get redemption or forgiveness, what happened is in the past and the majority of us have already started fresh after our epic fail at Regionals last year,” Rachel whispered against my ear.

“Do you love me?” I asked after a large pause, raising my head slowly and looking directly at her eyes.

“Yes, and I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you,” Rachel said without wavering, answering in a matter of one second, her eyes shining with confidence.

“Do you want to kiss me?” I asked, that time in a lower voice, when my eyes drifted to her lips for some seconds before going back to her eyes. When had she gotten so close to me?

“That’s all I’ve been thinking about since I saw you through the distance when I arrived,” She answered just like she had before.

“And what’s stopping you from doing so? I’m sure than I’m not…” I mumbled, reason long gone from my brain. 

The next few seconds were the longest I had experienced in year, and that was coming from me, who had given birth a year before, because the seconds that her lips weren’t on mine felt like an eternity, but when they met it all felt right. Her lips were so soft, and they tested like raspberry, probably because of her chapstick, and they were so gentle against mine. 

Her arms embraced my waist as mine did the same but to her neck, and we both tilted our heads in opposite directions and opened our mouths in synchronicity to deepen the kiss. It was Heaven. The way her tongue danced with mine was way better than when I used to do that with Finn. 

“Shall we go to my house now?” Rachel asked when she pulled away and regained a bit of breath. 

“Yeah, I think we should.” 

Maybe I hadn’t won, maybe everything wasn’t as good or as perfect as I would have wanted to, but at least I had an amazing, loving and caring girlfriend by my side despite everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is messy or confusing! '~' are for when there's a time skip or there's a chat conversation and italics is for flashbacks (and songs)  
> Hope you enjoyed it, and have a nice day :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please, try to be as polite as possible if you want to comment your opinion or give feedback.  
> If you want to give me prompts you can either go to my tumblr and send them to me through my ask: "gasperlistrange" or just go to my instagram and send them to me via message: "gasper_listrange"  
> If those options are not available for you, email them to gasperlistrange@gmail.com


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